


Helpless

by HobbitsofMordor



Series: Brothers Extras [7]
Category: The Secret Life of Pets (2016)
Genre: don't read if you haven't read Brothers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-20 13:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8250452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HobbitsofMordor/pseuds/HobbitsofMordor
Summary: Max is sick of being so helpless when in danger. He wants to do something about it.(Spoilers for Brothers, takes place after Book 3 Chapter 24, Prior to Book 3 Chapter 30.)





	1. "...teach me how to fight."

**Author's Note:**

> So, uh... after the latest chapter of Book 4 I felt like you guys needed something a little more lighthearted so here. Anyways, won't make sense if you haven't read Brothers yada yada. This'll probably end up being 2-3 chapters.

_So, I just recovered from a near death experience._

**Yeah, that's really kinda become the norm. I mean, in the past 6 months or so you've woken up at the vet like, 5 times. The most recent of which, you were asleep for two months. Truthfully, it's getting kind of concerning.**

_Well, maybe we should_ do _something about it._

**...what are you implying?**

_I'm implying that you should teach me how to fight._

**Why?**

_Because I'm sick of just letting everyone else protect me!_

"Okay, Max. What did Alpha do this time?" Gidget asks from my side.

"Oh, uh, how'd you know we were fighting?"

"You started to grimace. And you were glaring off into space."

"...that'd do it."

"So what is it?"

"I want him to teach me how to fight."

"Oh, so you're asking the _intangible being_ to teach you how to fight instead of your equally as skilled girlfriend with a physical body?"

**That's what I was gonna say!**

"...what does 'intangible' mean?"

**Oh for the love of-**

"It means 'unable to be touched or grasped'," Katie yells over from the computer. "Also, did you even think about asking _my_ opinion before teaching _my_ small dog how to fight?"

**...she has a point.**

_Oh come on!_

"What are you guys shouting about?" Duke asks, entering the room.

"Max wants to learn how to fight," Gidget tells him.

"Oh. Well, I wouldn't be much help in that regard. He should probably ask you or Alpha."

**What'd I tell you?**

_You didn't tell me anything! You just asked why!_

"Again," Katie interrupts. "Who says I'll even allow this? Max, you literally just got back from the vet after being in a coma for two months because of the last fight you were in!"

"And if I can learn how to do it right, I can avoid that happening again!"

"And how do you know it will?"

"We still have the Flushed Pets to deal with! They're obviously planning something! They've been quiet ever since Duke and I had our adventure! Who knows when they'll come out? You may not have met them, but there are a lot of them! I was completely surrounded that time on the bridge!"

"Fine," She sighs. "You can learn how to fight. But take it easy, okay? You're still recovering."

"Alright."

**So, this is great and all, but we still haven't decided who's gonna train you.**

"Okay, Max. Who's gonna be training you?" Gidget asks.

"Easy," I say. "Both of you."


	2. Vet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max has to go to the vet before he can learn.

"Easy. Both of you."

**You know, I will admit that you've had some well thought out plans in the past, but this is definitely not one of them. She can't even hear me!**

"Max..." Gidget sighs. "How do you expect me to work with the voice in your head while trying to teach you physical movements?"

"...Let me get back to you on that."

**Did you just ignore me?**

_I was talking to you both._

**Oh.**

"Max, I'm gonna be honest here. How much do you think a disembodied voice will be able to help you?"

"...not much."

"Exactly."

"Alright, fine, you win."

"Yay~!"

_Psst...Alpha!_

**Why are you whispering? She can't hear you. Anyways, what is it?**

_Can you give me tips anyways?_

**Yeah, sure, whatever.**

"So, uh, Gidg? When do we get started?"

"Not right now!" Katie shouts. "We have plans tonight! If you're gonna do it, wait until tomorrow or something!"

"What are these 'plans'?" I bark back.

"Well, Max, _you_ need to go to the vet for a checkup. And don't give me any sass, you were just asleep for two months after being stabbed, tranquilized, and cut multiple times. You want to do your 'training', you go to your checkup tonight. Are we clear?"

I groan in annoyance before nodding.

"Good boy!"

* * *

This is actually kind of nice. Katie hasn't taken us on the motorcycle since I woke up, and from what I've gathered Duke hasn't been on since before that. 

I feel kind of bad for Gidget, though. She's never been on it.

Come to think of it, I feel kinda bad that I'm the only one who gets to do it.

"So, Max, are you and Gidget thinking of having puppies anytime soon?" Katie asks.

"What!? No!" I yelp. "I-i mean, I may _like_ to at some point in the future, but I'm not ready yet!"

"It's cool, Max. Just messing with you. Truthfully, I'm glad. _I'm_ not ready to deal with a litter of mischevious little Maxes and Gidgets."

**You know, it's still kind of funny how flustered you get when talking about this kind of stuff.**

_...I hate you._

**No you don't.**

_...no I don't._

"Well, here we are, Max."

She leads me inside, and the visit follows the same routine as the last few have.

1\. Check in.

2\. See the vet.

3\. Shots, pills, etc.

4\. Dog treat.

5\. Leave.

So, all in all, it wasn't too eventful. 

Of course, I had to deal with Alpha's commentary the whole time. And some of the things he said were...less than appropriate.

But I'm finally going home. And tomorrow...we can begin.

I just can't wait.


	3. Dodge!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gidget starts off with the basics. Max still fails completely.

"Dodge!"

Gidget kicks me, knocking me across the room.

"Ow!" I yelp. "You think you could be a little more careful?"

"If I'm too soft on you, you won't get anywhere."

"Well, we have to start somewhe-"

"Dodge!"

"Wha- oof!" 

**Wow. You REALLY need to learn how to dodg-**

_Yeah, I know, still working on that one._

"Uh...you okay, Max? Please don't tell me I hit you too hard." Gidget asks, concerned.

"Well... I wouldn't...but that would be lying."

"Sorry, but this is honestly the best way."

"I know. Doesn't mean I have to like it."

We're on our second day, and I still haven't gotten past dodging.

This bodes poorly.

"Tell you what, Max. Let's skip dodging for now."

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Alright, Katie got us a training dummy thing. Let's see how good your bite is with just your instincts."

I rush at the dummy thing.

"Dodge!"

"Why?" I yelp as I am knocked across the room once again. This time, however, I fall down the stairs.

"Oof. Oof. Oof. Oof." Etcetera.

I moan in pain, before standing up. 

"Ah! Oh, no! I can't get back up!"

**...are you already trying to stall?**

"CLIMB UP!"

"Maybe...maybe I can use that shelf as a makeshift ladder!"

"CLIMB. UP!"

"Or...maybe I could...climb the stairs..." I mutter.

"UGHH!"

** Three Hours Later **

"Okay, I'm impressed, Max. You're definitely showing improvement."

"Thank goodness."

"But, you still need to learn how to dodge."

"Yeah..."

"So, tomorrow will be all about dodging!"

"Please no."

"Sorry, Max. It's for your own good. Better get lots of rest tonight."

"Aw, man."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, this chapter is really just because I wanted to write some DBZA references.


End file.
